However for some people, it can be a very serious condition. Brett Gardner, who’s an outfielder for the New York Yankees, was hospitalized Saturday morning for experiencing severe acid reflux symptoms. His manager, Joe Girardi, said that Gardner has been suffering from acid reflux disease since the age of 15 and that he will be fine.

“Hair weaves and quick weaves were first made popular in the urban culture but today this craze has spread to suburban America. The reason they’re so popular is because they allow a woman to achieve any hair style she wants. For example, hair relaxers are only so effective at straightening hair. But with a quick weave, anyone can achieve that sleek, smooth hair that celebs like Jennifer Aniston and Beyonce are known for.”

Interesting enough, Josie conveniently forgot to mention of all the drawbacks involved with hair weaves. Not only are they expensive, but they take a lot of work to attach and maintain.

Now that The Hills show is over, reportedly she was going to be doing another show with ex-Hills co-star Jennifer Bunney. But today it was announced that she has backed out of that show, too. Plastic Surgery Spot has an interesting hypothesis on what they think Heidi will do next:

“Although we have no concrete evidence to back this claim, we are going to officially make a prediction – we believe Heidi will reverse some of her plastic surgery. Much of it is irreversible, but we think she will go down to smaller breast implants, and possibly even reverse her cheek augmentation by getting her cheek implants removed.”

So what’s next for Heidi? Will her and Spencer get back together? Will she get more cosmetic surgery… or reverse the surgery she’s had? Who knows… when it comes to this crazy girl, only time will tell!

A new agency – the Consumer Financial Protection Bureau – will be created to monitor consumer banking. The implications for debit and credit cards are described vaguely (at best) so we asked Michael Davis of Credit Card Forum to clarify:

“To be perfectly honest, we don’t yet know the exact changes that will occur as a result of this new legislation. What we do know is that swipe fees on debit cards will eventually be capped by this new bureau.”

While capping swipe fees may sound like a benefit for consumers, Davis goes on to explain the potential negative implications this may have:

“What consumers need to remember is that swipe fees charged on debit and credit cards are what make rewards possible. If the swipe fees are capped, you can bet that cash back credit cards will drastically scale back their rewards. However as of right now, it sounds like they will only be capping debit card swipe fees.”

Davis does go on to say however that there are a number of positive changes for consumers. For example, we will soon have free access to our credit score once per year (currently we can only get our credit report for free once per year). The bureau will also be responsible for enforcing the Credit Card Reform Act that recently went into full effect this year.

Celebrity death rumors has hit the internet again today, and we know that almost all of this kind of rumor is mostly a hoax.

Russel Crowe was said have died after falling off from mointain in kitzbuhel, Austria in the middle of movie shooting.

Russel Crowe’s Representatives has denied the reports and are saying hat these are all nothing but hoax.

Canadian Peter MacKay told the Disassociated Press of Canada that concerns Afghanistan will become pregnant through Canada’s withdrawl plan are overblown.

Said MacKay, “We know withdrawl’s not 100% effective.  Look at the American experience in Vietnam.  But, we feel at this stage, since we’ve already pretty much fucked the ugly girl without a condom, a prompt withdrawl is the best plan.”

Afghan government officials were shocked at Canada’s plan to withdraw and leave it.

Afghan President Hamid Karzai said, “I thought you cared.”

Canada noted that it did care.  But, MacKay added, “Further unprotected penetration under these circumstances is a roundly bad idea.  Frankly, Afghanistan is ugly and mean and crazy.  Any withdrawl is better done sooner rather than later.”

Afghanistan proceeded to throw a glass of water on Canada and then left crying without closing the door.

American officials tried to comfort Afghanistan.  Afghanistan threatened to open the car door and throw itself out if the Canadians didn’t come back.

U.S. Secretary of State Hillary Clinton reportedly told Karzai, “Bitch?  Go ahead and try.  I don’t care if you’re pregnant.”

Afghanistan reportedly went quiet and refused to speak.

Nyetprom CEO Mikhail Kouylekov told the Unassociated Press, “We buy dot nyet because nyet is core part of Russian culture.”

The new top-level domain will be one of the earliest made available since ICANN, the International Corporation for the Assignment of Names and Ns, began allowing private companies to administer new TLDs.

The development follows the withdrawl of an American protest.  U.S. officials had felt “.nyet” could be confusing for people searching for “.net” domain names.

American Undersecretary for the Internet, Cat Photos and LOLz Chuck Norris said, “We also thought it could be a really bad joke.  Or a delivery mechanism for spam.”

Kouyelekov quickly quelled any concerns about humorous intent by noting, “I am Russian.  We have no sense of humor that we know of.  Look at Yakov Smirnov.”

1.  Vancouver is a funny word.

2.  1 out of 3 Canadian drug addicts live in Vancouver proper.  1 in 2 live in the Vancouver metro area.

3.  Vancouver isn’t a part of Canada at all.  It is in fact jointly owned by a consortium of Chinese shipping companies.

4.  If Vancouver were a person, it would be the scummy kid who sat in the back of the class talking the whole time.

5.  During the two weeks of sunny weather in August — the only nice weather the city ever sees all year — the criminals crawl out to rob people.

6.  Vancouver advertises itself as a “world class city”.  Bit of a small dick problem, eh?

7.  Despite its massive homeless population, it’s a damned expensive place to live.

8.  Vancouver has mentioned that it has “potable water” in its promotional materials about environmentalism.  WTF?  So, Vancouver is the equal of rural Mexico?  Good work, guys.

9.  Last week a Vancouverite punched a dog just to watch its master cry.

10.  People from Vancouver are called Vancouverites.  Ew.

This was followed by an outpouring of surprise over the news that Salinger had still been alive.

“I mean, holy hell, you talk about Salinger in the same sentence as F. Scott Fitgerald or Mark Twain,” said Literary critic William H. Gass.  “It’s almost automatic to think he’s just as dead as those two guys.”

Academic Louis Menand noted, “Salinger didn’t die . . . I mean, like way back, cause he obviously did die or we wouldn’t be talking about this . . . anyhoo . . . Salinger didn’t die.  He just went so far off the deep end in the 1950s that he might as well have been dead for the next six decades.”

The Guiness Book of World Records holds that Salinger was the record holder for “Longest Time as Recluse Without Mailing a Bomb to a Government Official or Agency, or a Non-Profit Liberal Group Perceived as ‘One of Them’”.

Gass added in his statement, “I mean, the other day when I heard Howard Zinn had died, that registered.  You know, because people had talked about him like he still alive some time after the Johnson administration.”

Canadian readers may best remember Salinger from an incident in 1960, when he attempted to unilaterally annex part of southern Quebec to his Vermont summer vacation home.  The effort ended in September 1960 after the Royal Canadian Mounted Police foiled a poorly-conceived suicide by cop Salinger had hoped to attempt with help from an imaginary friend.  Salinger remained bitter for decades after the incident, insisting his imaginary friend had abandoned him.

In related news, $54,000 is now considered an acceptable levy of damages for downloading 24 songs.

P2P and online rights groups accepted the verdict.  A spokeperson for the Electronic Frontier Foundation told reporters, “Ya know, I could probably download $54,000 worth of songs and break even if I’m ever caught.  So, ya know, there’s nothing but upside, right?”

A spokesperson for the Recording Industry Association of America replied in a press release, “$1.92 million was restrained.  We feel betrayed by this ruling, and will use every fiber of our being to grab the few people left who care about music by the ankles and shake them until every last penny falls out.”

In a local twist, the last record store in West Dakota will be closing its doors on January 31st.  We say good-bye to Randy’s Record Mart, and look forward to whatever brand of wireless phone store will replace in the mall.