However for some people, it can be a very serious condition. Brett Gardner, who’s an outfielder for the New York Yankees, was hospitalized Saturday morning for experiencing severe acid reflux symptoms. His manager, Joe Girardi, said that Gardner has been suffering from acid reflux disease since the age of 15 and that he will be fine.

1.  Vancouver is a funny word.

2.  1 out of 3 Canadian drug addicts live in Vancouver proper.  1 in 2 live in the Vancouver metro area.

3.  Vancouver isn’t a part of Canada at all.  It is in fact jointly owned by a consortium of Chinese shipping companies.

4.  If Vancouver were a person, it would be the scummy kid who sat in the back of the class talking the whole time.

5.  During the two weeks of sunny weather in August — the only nice weather the city ever sees all year — the criminals crawl out to rob people.

6.  Vancouver advertises itself as a “world class city”.  Bit of a small dick problem, eh?

7.  Despite its massive homeless population, it’s a damned expensive place to live.

8.  Vancouver has mentioned that it has “potable water” in its promotional materials about environmentalism.  WTF?  So, Vancouver is the equal of rural Mexico?  Good work, guys.

9.  Last week a Vancouverite punched a dog just to watch its master cry.

10.  People from Vancouver are called Vancouverites.  Ew.

Hamilton drove to the nearest Staples, purchased several sheets of foam core and some permanent markers.  He drove home and made the perfect tribute.

With ticket in hand, he flew to San Diego for the Jets’ game against the Chargers.

And there he revealed to the nation a sign bearing these words: “DARTH REVIS”.

Fellow fans were confused.

“Look, I know a lot of black guys have weirdly spelled names, but spelling ‘Darrell’ D-A-R-T-H isn’t one of them,” said Chargers fan Janice Winkle, 41, of University City.  “Even for a Jets fan, this was pretty [expletive] retarded.”

Hamilton was outraged at his fellow fans.

“It’s a Star Wars reference,” Hamilton explained.

“That’s Vader!” a Chargers cheerleader hollered.

Hamilton was nonplussed.

“The Darth thing is a Sith thing.  Didn’t you watch the movies?  Did any of you people pay attention?” begged Hamilton.

Hamilton reportedly folded the sign up in the third quarter and sat dejected for the remainder of the game, despite the Jets victory.

“I was worried I wouldn’t get out of there alive after the Jets won,” said Hamilton,” but then I remembered the Chargers fans aren’t real fans.  They’re just bored sushi eaters who heard that something was going on at the stadium today and figured it would be a lark.”

Several online Star Wars forums were amazed to see any national attention for the franchise outside of a movie release.  One poster, Grvs69, said, “Now people will take the time to learn about the expanded universe, the best part of Star Wars.”

By Monday morning, the entire nation had forgotten the incident altogether.

by Donna Alfreddssen

The Sasaskatoon Saskies dropped their 15th straight game to the Ottawa Senators, losing 5-1.

The game was tied late in the third period when Saskies goaltender Leonid Andreyovoyovich objected to a tripping call by throwing his helmet at the line judge.  The Senators were awarded a five minute major and three penalty shots.  The Senators convert two of the three penalty shots, while also scoring two goals on the power play.

After the game, Andreyovoyovich told a reporter for TSN, “I no like call.  Shit line judge can die.”

Interim Saskies coach Mike Paulsen dismissed the penalty call.  “We didn’t play well all night.  That was a hiccup in an otherwise craptacular game.”

The loss dropped the Saskies to last in the Western Conference for the second time this season.

The Saskies next face off Thursday night against the visiting Winnipeg Jets.  Puck drops at the Sasaskatoon Sasaskadome at 7:30 pm.  The Thursday night matchup will feature a Potato Gun souvenir night, brought to you by the Oxbow Herald.