Canada insists withdrawl totally safe for Afghanistan
OTTAWA (DAP-C) – The Canadian defense ministry insisted Afghanistan cannot become pregnant through the countries withdrawl planned for next year.
Canadian Peter MacKay told the Disassociated Press of Canada that concerns Afghanistan will become pregnant through Canada’s withdrawl plan are overblown.
Said MacKay, “We know withdrawl’s not 100% effective. Look at the American experience in Vietnam. But, we feel at this stage, since we’ve already pretty much fucked the ugly girl without a condom, a prompt withdrawl is the best plan.”
Afghan government officials were shocked at Canada’s plan to withdraw and leave it.
Afghan President Hamid Karzai said, “I thought you cared.”
Canada noted that it did care. But, MacKay added, “Further unprotected penetration under these circumstances is a roundly bad idea. Frankly, Afghanistan is ugly and mean and crazy. Any withdrawl is better done sooner rather than later.”
Afghanistan proceeded to throw a glass of water on Canada and then left crying without closing the door.
American officials tried to comfort Afghanistan. Afghanistan threatened to open the car door and throw itself out if the Canadians didn’t come back.
U.S. Secretary of State Hillary Clinton reportedly told Karzai, “Bitch? Go ahead and try. I don’t care if you’re pregnant.”
Afghanistan reportedly went quiet and refused to speak.
