Jets fans’ Darth Revis sign too obscure
UAP (New York) – New York Jets fan Alvin Hamilton, 37, of Staten Island, thought he had the perfect tribute to his favorite player, cornerback Darrelle Revis.
Hamilton drove to the nearest Staples, purchased several sheets of foam core and some permanent markers. He drove home and made the perfect tribute.
With ticket in hand, he flew to San Diego for the Jets’ game against the Chargers.
And there he revealed to the nation a sign bearing these words: “DARTH REVIS”.
Fellow fans were confused.
“Look, I know a lot of black guys have weirdly spelled names, but spelling ‘Darrell’ D-A-R-T-H isn’t one of them,” said Chargers fan Janice Winkle, 41, of University City. “Even for a Jets fan, this was pretty [expletive] retarded.”
Hamilton was outraged at his fellow fans.
“It’s a Star Wars reference,” Hamilton explained.
“That’s Vader!” a Chargers cheerleader hollered.
Hamilton was nonplussed.
“The Darth thing is a Sith thing. Didn’t you watch the movies? Did any of you people pay attention?” begged Hamilton.
Hamilton reportedly folded the sign up in the third quarter and sat dejected for the remainder of the game, despite the Jets victory.
“I was worried I wouldn’t get out of there alive after the Jets won,” said Hamilton,” but then I remembered the Chargers fans aren’t real fans. They’re just bored sushi eaters who heard that something was going on at the stadium today and figured it would be a lark.”
Several online Star Wars forums were amazed to see any national attention for the franchise outside of a movie release. One poster, Grvs69, said, “Now people will take the time to learn about the expanded universe, the best part of Star Wars.”
By Monday morning, the entire nation had forgotten the incident altogether.
